A Chaotic Lifestyle

So I’ve got a study abroad blog (euphoricadventurer.wordpress.com if you’re interested) but I decided that I need a personal one. Sometimes, when you have a diary, you only write in it when times are tough. And that’s okay. Because getting your feelings out is always better than bottling them up. Here goes nothing…

Saying that “my life is chaotic” is the understatement of the century. Chaotic can’t even begin to describe it. Don’t get me wrong, I live for the craziness. I am crazy, so it only makes sense. I love rushing from one place to the next, racing time, pressing myself to last minute deadlines. Because when I accomplish those things, the sigh of relief and the comfort of flopping onto my pillow at night is that much better.

But on occasion, “chaotic” begins to merge with “stressful” – and that’s not good. Oh no. Out comes the short-response, flippant, sarcastic me. Hey, I’m working on it, okay? At least I’m honest… Anyways, this form of me has been roaming of late and I can’t seem to figure out how to get myself back to plain ol’ chaotic.

Everything from finals week to boy problems to prepping for my study abroad journey seems to be coming crashing down on me all at once. I thought I was doing great! And of course, as soon as you get proud and walk around all, “I got this, I’m good to go”, Life decides, “Nah bro, let me through you a curveball or 200”.

What do I do? Well I could freak about finals and leave everything until the last second, I could cry over a boy and try to force him to change, I could angrily email all of my study abroad contacts and anxiously worry every night OR I could prioritize my classes, studying a little at a time, let the boy issues go – he needs to make a decision and I have done what I can, and patiently wait for my study abroad pieces to fall into place one by one. I choose the latter. I choose what may not be chaotic – but it is also not stressful. I choose, for once, to wait. To have peace. To relax. Because I’m willing to bet that the good chaos will start up soon again…


One thought on “A Chaotic Lifestyle

  1. Good luck! 🙂 I’m glad that you’re choosing to relax and best of luck with your studies ! I’m a young literature professor I try to inspire teens myspoonfulofglitter on tumblr and spoonofglitter on twitter – hope to connect there too! 🙂


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